Without a warning
The day snuck in
Ninety-two, abruptly rain checked in
Never saw the clouds form you
Like that – my world broke new
As shock seized me
Failed to fathom this beginning
I never believed in a miracle as I did with you––
Felt you would burst through that casket with a wind that’s empirical
A common reaction?
Unusual, my first funeral
On that last day, all trust fell through
My planet left itself
The day was due
My heart shattered into ashes
My mind drowned in distress
I cried so much I could no longer hear
How can you be ready for what’s already here
My unit depleted without you
They told me I was strong––
Strength, I never knew
No memory of how the days got better
Only know my agony got bitter
Everything I touched screamed your name
Senses knew no other as strong as you
Fought to comprehend why God would take you
I was young; I needed more of you
Always chose family over friends
Thank God I cherished you.
The reality of my dad without you pierced me deeper
Days like my wedding lost their meaning
I spoke of you in the present––
The past was too surreal
Never felt pain until I lost you
Life lost its marbles without you
I remember my car rides––
Jesus took the wheel cause I lost my feel
Pain pulled me over––
Tears kissed the grass on my way to class
Mourning filled my appetite
Lamenting felt like an everlasting night.
While I was drowning,
A hand stabled me
In silence,
A heart guided me
Though I was breaking
Grace was comforting.
Marathon from home
Rejected His every form
He never gave up on me
Fought every day to relief me
Incapable of comprehending how I made it
In silence, He clothed
My strength was low
He became the strength for my flow
Although He allowed this tragic
He sat in it with me
Guarded me in peace – even though I disagreed
Not one night did I lose sleep
Infirmities failed to afflict or cut deep
He filtered my life
I ran and charged Him
No condemnation saw me as a victim
A love without extinction,
His heart was always my protection!
Immense support poured from communities
Many came to comfort with precious eulogies
Because of my temperament,
I disassociated during my bereavement
Though forever grateful for all the incredible treatment
Missing is forever – healing is gradual but clustering together
Ten years since I lost you
Crazy how time in a blink could toss you
God was faithful
He seized us – forever grateful
Pampered our shattered hearts and uttered unity
Boundless patience; our serenity
God changed the trajectory of pain
Memories today are viewed as a priceless gain
My soul sees a difference
Memories were painful; God changed that appearance
The way you lived; a testimony of your exquisite essence
Mama, in my eyes, you’re perfect
You can do no wrong;
Our family’s favorite song
Even in our bicker
We are alike; that was our trigger
Selective in choosing friends
You taught me standards and gave me a clean lens
I remember the day you thanked God for my presence
“Who needs friends when you have a daughter.”
That warmed my heart; words stronger than a revolver!
I was overprotective of your kindness
Ready to pull up at your job––
Check anyone who tried it
Your approach was gracious
You taught me through character the value of silence.
Thank you for being what I needed––
Even more, what I wanted
Saved me from many heartaches
Your caring heart was raw
Meek but of might that can dislocate a jaw
When I was sick, you were my hospital
My representative, when I was idle
You taught me how to nurture
Prepared me to be a wife and a mother
Discerned unstated emotions when I was mute
My favorite partner when Dad was our refute
It’s always hard I can’t see you physically
We are blessed to reunite eternally
Indebted to you forever;
My role model, my heart, my fuel of endeavor!
